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My husband retired this year after working his entire adult life. He's enjoying the lack of stress and responsibility, and I'm happy for him. He's earned it.
As for me, I'm doing what I've been doing for the past ten years or so. Am I retired? I don't feel like it. I don't know what I am. Aside from reading hundreds of books, selling stuff online, and writing the occasional piece for publication, I haven't been working my ass off for a very long time. I'm a terrible housekeeper and a scattershot gardener. I act in local theater productions, which I laughingly refer to as the narcissist's idea of community service. I'm a good cook. That's about it.
I worked for a paycheck for fewer years than my husband did and for a lot less money, so when I claim Social Security, the 50% spousal benefit is my best option. That will be when I'm 66 and 8 months old next year.
The shame I felt upon realizing my lifetime earnings had been so meager brought me to tears. Thank God I never got divorced. I'd be living on cat food (or possibly cats.)
I quit working full-time when my son was young, and my ailing mother-in-law moved in with us. I had a couple of part-time jobs and did freelance writing along the way, but my main job was keeping the Good Ship Shelton on course through my mother-in-law's decline and death and the rough seas following the 2008 recession.
When I first checked the Social Security website to see what benefits my working life entitled me to, I was horrified. How could I have worked so long for so little money? Why didn't a real career emerge out of all those different jobs? Most companies I worked for no longer exist; several ceased to exist while I was still working for them. How could I have been so indifferent to climbing the ladder of success? Oh, well.
I'm grateful we are debt-free and have enough saved for retirement. As long as we watch our pennies, we should be okay. But I can't shake the feeling that I should keep trying to earn money. We could live a bit larger today if I'd been holding up my end better back in the day.
Am I the only one who feels I don't deserve the storied crown of retirement? Let me know what you think in the comments below. I'm especially interested to hear from those whose spouse was the principal breadwinner. Thanks!
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